I'm Not Ready to Let You Go
by Fictionalpersonstrash
Summary: Zane is dead and Kai is not dealing with it well. The Ninja have split apart and Lloyd is trying to put the pieces back together only to get shoved back in the dark. Takes place after Rebooted and before Season 4. Rated T because of death. R&R
1. Chapter One

**Hello people who read fanfiction, here is my first story. I hope you enjoy!**

**This takes place after Rebooted but before the new season (I don't know what it's called…)**

**Constructive criticism is welcomed. I would love to hear feedback from all you experienced authors out there! :)**

* * *

It had been nearly a month since the passing of Zane.

No… It couldn't be…

Yes. He was gone.

Since Zane's funeral, the ninja had gone their separate ways, finding it hard to spend time with each other without the subject of Zane coming up.

It was awkward. No video games. No funny jokes. No 'deli meat eating' in the fridge.

He was truly gone.

Gone like the wind.

The wind blew him away.

It pained Kai to even think about him. He hadn't spoken to the other ninja in what seemed like centuries.

There were days when he wouldn't even eat, but stare blankly at his bowl of cereal and strain not to let a loose tear fall.

He had returned to the "Four Weapons" shop with Nya to find it robbed and left to gather nothing but dust.

He struggled to get it back on its feet.

Same routine.

Do nothing…

Things weren't looking up.

There were times when Kai would think about Zane and the others and remember all the times they shared together, good and bad. The Final Battle. Encountering pirates.

"_I sense we will not be able to 'spin' our way out of this one."_

And of course, Pinky, the name Cole had given Zane when Lloyd turned his suit pink. Words could not explain the fury written on Zane's face that day.

"_How am I supposed to strike fear in this? It's pink!" _

Kai smiled for a moment, but it quickly faded, remembering that those memories were no more to him anymore.

Did Zane miss them? Did he think about them like Kai did?

_I'm sorry I didn't stop you…_

He could have done something.

He could have…

But he didn't.

_I let you die…_

There was something he could have done.

But he did nothing.

_Memories live on forever. _

What had happened with him? He was no longer the reckless Mr. I-Have-A-Huge-Ego but quiet and unable.

Unable.

Unable to do what?

Anything…

It was the absence of Zane.

But Zane was never coming back…

Ever…

It wasn't right.

_Ignoring the pains._

What pains?

Emotional and physical pains.

Hunger. Weakness. Dying.

Weakness.

_I'm too weak._

It _was _hard to function with no energy.

_I'm hungry…_

He had to eat.

Eating…

Zane made him want to eat.

Zane made food.

"_You laugh because I take steps to ensure I am clean after cooking?"_

Zane…

He was no longer hungry. Whatever he did only seemed to make him miss Zane more and more.

A whole monsoon of tears flooded like a rushing waterfall down his face.

The phone rang, a shrill sound that startled him slightly. He got up and picked up the phone to stop that horrible noise.

"Hello?"

"Kai? May I please speak to Kai?" It was Lloyd.

"This is him," he said curtly. "What do you want?

"Just calling to check on you, I guess."

So after all those months he finally decided to call?

"Why do you care all of a sudden?" He snapped.

Hiding the truth.

Lloyd did care.

Hiding it from him.

Shuffling…

The Green Ninja's voice was quiet. "I _have _cared. _You _never cared."

A bullet straight through his heart.

"_You never cared."_

Was it true?

_Hiding…_

Silence for centuries.

Hiding.

Hiding.

Hiding.

"Sure, sure…" Kai scoffed, unaware Lloyd could detect some defeat in his tone.

Defeat.

Kai sounded defeated.

Defeat.

Pain.

Kai was in pain. He was defeated.

Lloyd's soul hurt. His sanity.

Kai was losing his sanity.

Kai was going insane.

Insane: (of an action or quality) characterized or caused by madness.

Kai was going insane because of Zane.

He didn't realize he was talking out loud. "…Insane because of Zane…"

"I'm insane…" Kai muttered.

The Master of Life's eyes went wide.

"So, you're saying it's Zane's fault…"

"No!" Lloyd cried, trying to cover up the slip he just made. "What I'm trying to say is that you've been acting, well… different since Zane died."

"So, you _are _saying I'm insane."

"NO!" Lloyd gripped his hair in frustration. Kai's tone was just so emotionless, almost like he enjoyed antagonizing the poor blonde boy.

"If you're trying to make a point, say it already." Kai murmured under his breath.

What happened to the old Kai?

He was gone.

Gone like Zane.

Lloyd cleared his throat. "Cole, Jay and I are meeting up for dinner tonight. Are you… able to make it?"

Silence.

Was Kai still on the other line?

"Hello?"

The Master of Fire hung up. He set the phone on the receiver and for a brief moment, stood in front of it, hands clenched. Fire spewed out of his fists.

Burn.

Burn the feelings away.

Turn them to ash.

No more feelings.

The hairs on his back stood up.

Nya…

Kai swiveled around quickly to see his younger sister standing nervously in the doorway.

"Is there a reason to be standing there like a creepy stalker?" He growled, words forming without control.

Nya stepped back like a wounded animal, clearly injured by the sting of Kai's harsh tone.

"I, um…"

"Yes?"

With every attempt to spit a snarky remark at his sister, only drew her farther away. With every attempt to be strong, it only made him weak.

With every attempt to stay away, only brought him closer.

Nya could see it in his eyes: Just how broken he really was. She could see how damaged he was because of Zane's sacrifice.

So she gave Kai a hug. She gripped his skinny yet strong body and held on like there was no tomorrow. Tears streamed down her face as she clung to his shirt tightly.

Kai was unresponsive. It was not like his sister to act in such ways. When both their parents died, sure, she cried, but she was around eight or nine.

Was it strange for someone her age to cry in his arms like a child?

Yes?

No…

Because Kai was crying as well.

"K-Kai…" Nya choked sadly from tears. "I can't take it anymore. Please c-come back…"

Kai was at loss for words. Never had he seen his sister act in such ways before. Never had he seen his sister run in to his arms and weep.

"_I can't take it anymore."_

It was _his _fault.

_He _was the reason she was no longer strong.

His head began to throb as well. Every pound that hit him was the same word.

_Zane. Zane. Zane. Zane. Zane. Zane. Zane._

_No…_

It hurt. It hurt like swallowing his heart whole and having it lodged in his throat.

_Why did it have to be me?_

Nya was still crying…

Kai's words repeated in his head.

"_Is there a reason to be standing there like a creepy stalker?"_

He could have been nicer to her.

Just like could have saved Zane.

So many things he could have done but didn't.

Kai was ridden with guilt.

_I don't know anymore…_

He realized he was still hugging his sister. Instincts told him to pull away and act hostile again but with every last bit of sanity left, strained not to.

Kai's heart was covered in a huge ice shell. That shell blocked out everything Kai remembered. Everything he loved and cared was pushed out of his life and left to die. No matter what people tried, they could not penetrate the hard cover that forced him in to the darkness.

If only they knew.

If only they knew what it felt like.

Maybe they did.

They all watched Zane die.

But Kai was different.

The Nindroid's sudden death was equal to stabbing Kai's heart over and over again.

Did the others know?

Probably not…

He looked down at his sister and more tears escaped.

_What is wrong with me?!_

Still crying…

_I am such an idiot…_

His shirt was wet from tears.

_Should I go?_

His heart hurt like never before…

* * *

**So… What do you think? Too long? Short? Weird format? Redundant? Please give me your honest opinion!**

**Until next time, eat meat in the fridge and dye your shirts pink. :D**

**I don't know if I left anything unresolved so if I did, please tell me so I can fix that in the next chapters. And I promise more dialogue in the coming chapters. ****:)**

**Hope you awesome ninjomies have a spectacular week! The next chapter should be up soon. (I hope…)**


	2. Chapter Two

**I'm back with chapter two! Hope you like it! Sorry for the long wait!**

**I promised more dialogue and so, there will be a lot of intense conversations between most likely, the same people. Oh, and it probably won't be as choppy. I only used that method for the beginning.**

**There is no yaoi or slash or whatever you call it. I call it brotherly love. **

**THANK YOU TO ALL WHO REVIEWED MY STORY OMO IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ninjago or anything recognizable.**

* * *

"Hey Kai, over here!" Lloyd called to the tense Fire Ninja.

"What took so long?" Cole grumbled, crossing his arms. "Lloyd wouldn't let us eat until you got here."

"Sorry…" Kai muttered. He was still a bit moody from the conversation he had with Lloyd earlier that day.

For a brief moment, no one dared talk. Even Jay was speechless. Lloyd took a peek at Kai. His face was the same.

Emotionless.

The Green Ninja was confused. What had happened to Kai? Sure, Zane's death impacted them all, but none of them were as damaged as Kai.

Kai's emotional state was wrecked beyond repair.

Lloyd turned around uncomfortably and stared at the people around him. They seemed to be enjoying themselves: Eating, laughing and joking.

Lloyd couldn't help but feel jealous.

Jealous of their happiness.

Jealous of their friendships.

Kai hadn't said anything himself either. Why had he agreed to come anyway? It's not like he _had _to go and make things even weirder for them.

So, why _did _he go? Why did he go and put him and others in an uncomfortable situation? Was it worth it to sit at a restaurant table silently staring at the others waiting for conversations to happen?

Apparently so…

Kai was alone in his thoughts.

_Zane is gone…_

No…

_Zane is gone._

No.

_Zane is gone!_

NO!

Conflicting emotions. He had no control over his feelings. He was confused.

Confused?

He was confused. He had no control. His head hurt so badly, pounding harder than earlier and making him feel faint.

He must have looked really faint because Lloyd, who was sitting next to him, placed a firm hand on his shoulder and said, "Kai, you look like you're gonna pass out."

"I'm fine…" He muttered, words slurring strangely.

He was most certainly not fine. Why was he lying? Was it harder to tell the truth?

More conflicting emotions.

He was done…

"I've had it! I'm though! I can't take it anymore!" Kai suddenly shouted, standing up abruptly and eyes stricken with fear. The remaining ninja and the others in the restaurant couldn't help but stare at the Master of Fire.

_Don't lie… _

Kai's face was cold. Harsh. Unfamiliar. Tears were welling up. He smashed the table with his fist before storming out.

Silence.

Deathly silence.

Silence like death.

Nobody dared moved.

Lloyd was straining not to cry as well.

_What had just happened?_

* * *

Outside of the restaurant, Kai was having a hard time containing is frustration.

Another hurricane of emotions. A wave of dizziness overcame him. His feelings were unexplainable, uncontrollable, unstoppable.

He wanted to run far away and never come back. He wanted to leave everything behind and start all over again.

_Let me undo all the stupid mistakes I made…_

Rage was bubbling like a volcano. An angry Kai punched a nearby tree until his fists bled, crying his eyes out. He looked down at his bleeding hands and wiped the red substance on his shirt.

Why was it getting harder to get his emotions under control?

He looked down at the tree, which at that point, was oddly tilted so it stuck out in the middle of the road. Many drivers glared at Kai seeing he was the only person in front of it and his hands were still bleeding.

"Kai…"

Said ninja jumped and whipped around, eyes blood shot. He relaxed slightly when her saw only Lloyd, with his arms raised in surrender. He sighed. "Yes?"

"Why did you run out?"

Kai's eyes went wide. He did not expect Lloyd to bring up that subject so quickly. What was he supposed to say? "Um…"

Lloyd leaned in closer.

"Um… I, uh…"

There was no going back.

"I… don't know…" Kai whispered. He sank down and leaned against the broken tree.

That wasn't a lie.

He really didn't know.

Lloyd's suspicious eyes drilled holes in Kai's skull. "What's going on"?

Kai cursed softly under his breath. "Keep your nose where it belongs," he snapped.

Lloyd softened. He slowly sat down next to Kai silently.

"Go away," Kai grumbled, pushing the younger ninja away rather forcefully.

Lloyd tried again. "Let me help you…"

The Ninja of Fire rubbed his temples irritably. "Please leave me alone."

His tone was stiff.

Unlike fire.

Fire couldn't be controlled.

Fire was wild and untamed.

"I said I wanted to help," Lloyd repeated.

"Just… go away!" He pushed Lloyd away harshly, making him stumble and fall on the concrete roughly.

Lloyd refused to give up. "Let me help you!" He latched on to Kai's arm and wouldn't let go.

"I don't need any help!" Kai looked away to prevent Lloyd from seeing him cry.

Fail.

Lloyd could see him crying. His shattered heart being stomped on even more.

"I don't need to hurt anyone else!" Kai yelled, attempting to yank his arm away.

"You're not hurting anyone but yourself!" Lloyd cried.

Silence.

"When are you going to start thinking about someone other than you?"

Frozen in time.

"You don't know how many people I've hurt since Zane died," Kai whispered.

Lloyd froze.

"Please don't make me hurt more," Kai continued.

Rendered speechless.

Kai's fist was lighting on fire.

It burned Lloyd's hand. He jumped back, a small burn mark embedded on his wrist.

_Fire burns…_

_Explosion of light…_

_There's no going back._

In an instant, Lloyd was thrown backward, his head hitting the broken tree.

Screaming pain.

Kai's fist…

It was on fire…

The restaurant was on fire.

_There are people in there. _

Without even thinking, Lloyd sprang to his feet, ignoring the blood on his face and raced in to the burning restaurant.

_I won't die._

_I promise._

* * *

**You all probably hate me for making the end a cliffhanger… * ****runs from screaming mob of people * ;) **

**Why did I say it wouldn't be choppy? Argh. It was choppy I know, but I will try to fix it in future chapters.**

**I know there are also other things that were put in there that seem like they don't have anything to do with the plot, but I assure you, it will be back… :3**

**I tried to create action but that's not my strongest area to work in so I don't know. Feedback please! I appreciate it!**

**I know I made the characters way too OOC but it's supposed to be intentional. Please let me know if it's too much. **

**Have a great week! **


	3. Chapter Three

**Hello, I am back with ANOTHER CHAPPIE… I apologize for the long wait.**

**I am unsure about choppiness because unfortunately, I keep telling myself it won't be choppy and it ends up being choppy… Oops…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ninjago or anything recognizable.**

* * *

_Dying screams…_

Lloyd searched frantically for any survivors of the burning building.

_Blood everywhere…_

Two figures moved slightly in the back corner. Bodies were being dragged along with them.

Cole and Jay.

Lloyd rushed over to them. Their faces were scarred and bleeding. The once shining ninja suits were torn and shredded.

There was only one word to describe the scene before Lloyd: Horrific.

Cole smiled weakly at Lloyd, like his face was enough to bring his hopes up. Beside him, Jay crumpled to the ground, and the Master of Earth quickly picked him up.

"Is there anyone else in there?" Lloyd hollered over the sound of screaming people and fragments of the restaurant crashing to the ground.

"I think I saw one in the back room, but a huge wooden block beat me to it," Cole replied, repositioning the unconscious bodies on his shoulder.

"Okay, just get Jay and the rest out of here. I'll go and get the others," Lloyd ordered. Cole nodded quickly and continued to drag the survivors toward the entrance.

Lloyd looked at the mess that lay before him. Smoke billowed close to the ground. Broken and burning pieces of wood and stone were strewn across the floor. Quickly but carefully, the Ninja in green weaved his way around the rubble to the back door.

"Hello? Is anyone back here?" Lloyd called out, pushing past everything standing in his way. In the faint distant, he heard a faint cough.

"Help!" A voice croaked. Lloyd pushed the block away and kicked down the door to see…

Nya?

Lloyd stood there, shocked and a bit stunned. "Nya, what are you doing here?!"

"Oh, I'm just having a party in here while SUFFOCATING TO DEATH!" Nya shouted, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Lloyd rolled his eyes before noticing something unusual about her leg. He finally looked closer and when he did, his expression was almost scared.

Her leg was bleeding quickly. The thin white cloth that was used to staunch the bleeding was an ugly shade of pink.

"Nya, we need to get you outta here!" Lloyd shouted, gently pulling Nya to her feet. He wrapped his arms around his shoulder and helped her walk slowly.

"_When is the fire department going to get here?" _Lloyd wondered as he continued to help a hobbling Nya away from the room.

Time was running out. The restaurant was ready to collapse at any given moment. Lloyd picked up the pace and Nya limped along with him.

The smoke smelled awful. Lloyd hacked loudly. He stumbled slightly. The smog-like smoke was making him dizzy.

"_NO! I have to get Nya out of here!"_ Lloyd's mind yelled. His lungs burned for fresh air.

A small speck of light peeked its way through all of the dust and Lloyd sighed in relief thinking and feeling they were going to make it.

Nya stopped. "Lloyd, I can't go any further," she gasped for air. She was losing blood faster than it seemed.

"Here, get on," Lloyd said, bending down and gesturing for Nya to get on his back. A couple of hours ago, that gesture would have seemed weird, but at that point, if she didn't get help soon, she would die.

And he would die.

Reluctantly, Nya hopped on, wincing at the pain in her right leg.

The Green Ninja trudged along getting more and more tired by the second.

The peek of light was getting bigger. They were almost there. They were almost out from the grasp of death.

Lloyd's vision was getting blurry. He was out of breath. He kept walking, his steps getting slower as he went.

"Lloyd, do you want me to walk?" Nya asked, trying to slip off of the blonde.

"No, no, I'm fine," he mumbled, words slightly slurring. Although he was physically exhausted, his mind was wide-awake.

Nya looked up. The door was just a few feet away. She smiled weakly.

A crack rang through the mess and a wooden post the size of a semi truck fell and was headed toward the two.

Lloyd's eyes shot open at the sight.

Death was coming back.

He had two options: Push Nya out…

Or both die and be ridden with guilt for all of eternity in the after life.

He had no other option.

The blonde dropped Nya off his back and shoved her harshly aside, right in front of the door.

Nya screamed not from the pain but from Lloyd.

He was smiling…

_This must be fate, huh? _Lloyd thought to himself as the weight of the object literally crushed his strong body.

His eyes shut.

_Thank you, brothers. _

And everything went black.

Forever?

Or never?

* * *

**Okay, this chapter was shorter than I wanted but I hope you liked it anyway. The ending didn't turn out the exact way I wanted but it works. YOU tell me what you thought!**

**By the way, this is NOT, I REPEAT NOT a Lloyd/Nya story, I promise. It's kind of a brother/sister relationship I guess… **

**Please tell me what you thought. Should I continue or not? Feedback is GREATLY appreciated! **


	4. Chapter Four

**OMG I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING… I seriously have, like, no time… Every day, I'm doing something that prevents me from writing.**

**I deleted chapter four because I was not comfortable writing that kind of stuff and it's just generally wrong. Sorry!**

**So this will be chapter four instead. Hope you enjoy and the plot will be different from now on.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ninjago or anything recognizable.**

* * *

"LLOYD!" Nya screamed, watching as Lloyd disappeared in a mixture of smoke and dust and rubble. She grabbed her leg in pain.

The Samurai crawled out of the burning structure to see fire trucks, police cars and screaming people.

It was a catastrophe.

She looked around and one thing caught her eye.

Kai was missing.

Nya scanned the area desperately, trying to see if there was any remote trace of the Fire Ninja. She struggled to stand up.

She wanted to run up to anyone and ask, "Have you seen my brother?"

But she couldn't. She was stuck huddled on the ground, clutching her leg and wishing that she could see her brother.

"Kai? Kai…" Nya murmured, feeling weak and defeated.

A nearby paramedic happened to notice her and rushed over to aid her. "Ma'am, are you okay?" He asked, lifting her head up to feel her pulse. It was slow and unsteady.

"Wha…?" Nya could barely keep her eyes open.

"Miss, you must stay awake!" The aid called. His voice seemed so far away. "You cannot lose consciousness!" He scooped her up in his arms and laid her on a stretcher. By then, Nya had totally blacked out.

An ambulance rushed her to the nearest medical facility, Ninjago City Hospital.

* * *

"Is she ever going to wake up?"

"Did it work, Doctor?"

Voices… but whose voices?

Slowly, Nya cracked open an eye to get a glimpse of her surroundings. She smelled antiseptic and medicine, making her nose wrinkle in disgust.

"Ah, Miss Nya, you are awake." The doctor placed a hand softly on her damaged leg.

"What happened?" Nya asked groggily, lifting her head up from the smelly pillow.

"You fainted and were out for a while. We operated on you while you were gone. We had to give you stitches and unfortunately, you will be on crutches for a month or two."

_A month or two?! He's got to be kidding…_

"You are allowed to get up and walk around if you want but-"

Nya cut him off. "What happened to Lloyd? And where is my brother?"

"Lloyd Garmadon is currently in out intensive care unit."

That meant he was alive.

And breathing…

Maybe there was hope.

"No one has heard of your brother since the fire started."

And there went the hope.

"What about Cole and Jay?"

"Jay Walker and Cole Brookstone only have minor injuries but they should be okay."

Nya sighed in relief. "Have Cole and Jay seen Lloyd yet? Can I see him?"

"You may, but we are only permitting ten minutes per person due to his condition."

Nya propped herself on her crutches and attempted to dash out the door.

"Please be careful, Miss Nya. Falling on your leg will only injure it even more," the Doctor warned.

_Yes, I know… _Nya internally rolled her eyes. She continued walking. A nurse led her to Lloyd's room on the 34th floor. The elevator ride seemed like an eternity.

Her heart kept pounding the whole way up. She gripped the crutches handles hard in place of holding her brother's hand or anyone's hand.

When she reached the hospital room, she had to contain a gasp at how he looked. His face was covered in scratches, scars and bruises. He also had a cast on his right arm.

"How is he?"

"Well, he will have to wear a brace on his back for a while until his spine heals, he has a broken arm and several wounds on his legs and face," the nurse explained.

"Can I talk to him… alone, please?"

"Of course." The nurse left right afterward, shutting the door to separate Nya and Lloyd from the rest of the world.

Nya rushed over to his side and looked at his peaceful face. "Um… hi Lloyd," Nya began.

Silence.

"Thanks for saving my life… back then. It's my fault you ended up like this." She sat down on the edge of bed, refusing to look at him.

The heart and breathing monitor remained steady, although jerking strangely every now and then, causing Nya to momentarily panic.

"I hope I'm not sounding cheesy, but I would be dead if it weren't for you." A tear rolled down her cheek. " I just wanted to say thank you." More tears escaped and before you could say, "boo hoo" Nya's head was on Lloyd's chest, a waterfall of tears running out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lloyd! I'm so sorry!" She shouted, unable to control her emotions.

"I'm so sorry, Nya…"

Nya looked up. Lloyd's eyes were still closed.

A hand was on her shoulder.

She turned around and saw Kai.

"Kai…"

He had another long scar over his left eye and his face was bruised up a little. His fists were still red from when he punched a tree.

Without even thinking, she jumped in to his arms and began to sob again. Then reality hit her in the face.

He was the reason Lloyd was as he was.

She immediately pushed away from him and backed up, limping on her one good leg.

"You monster…" she whispered, placing a hand on Lloyd as if that would protect him from Kai.

"Nya…"

"Why are you even here?"

Kai didn't respond. He stared hard at his sister.

She turned around so her back was to her brother. "If you aren't going to say anything, get out." She sat back down on the side of the bed.

"I just thought you would understand." Kai muttered. He got up to leave.

Nya watched him leave.

Maybe she shouldn't have been so hard on him. She only yelled at him because she hadn't eaten anything in two days and she was still mad at him.

The Samurai looked down at Lloyd and sighed.

The door opened and Nya looked up.

"Uh, you time is up. The doctor needs to see you and Mr. Garmadon still has a lot of healing to do." Nya's assistant said, ushering Nya out.

She hopped on her crutches, took one final glance at Lloyd and headed out the door back to the smelly room where she would internally cry for another hour.

* * *

**This chapter was terrible but I don't really care because I needed update it soon anyway. Again, sorry for deleting chapter four, I just wasn't comfortable writing that.**

**I hope you enjoyed and please tell me what you thought. I think after this story, I want to work on a Zane/Elsa story or another sad fic but about Zane… **

**Tell me whatcha think and I can't promise I'll update in a month but I'll do what I can!**


	5. Chapter Five

**Hello my peeps, hope you'll enjoy this chappie!**

**I would recommend listening to sad music for the next couple of chapters. I listened to Fairy Tail Past Song and it really helped with inspiration.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ninjago or anything recognizable.**

* * *

Kai was waiting for her outside Lloyd's room.

"Yikes, Kai you scared me. I thought you left," Nya said.

"Sorry, I just wanted to talk to you," he shrugged, trying to ignore the dirty look Nya's helper was giving him.

"Now's not a good time," she said, looking anywhere but Kai to avoid seeing his expression.

"Oh… Okay, I'll talk to you later," he muttered, turning away and trudging down the long hallway.

Geez, what had Nya turned in to, yelling at people, crying constantly and turning down opportunities to fix mistakes.

She shook her head and followed the young woman back to her room.

"So, Miss Nya, I will be prescribing some painkillers to keep the pain down for at least a week. Just take one pill a day with a glass of water," the doctor said.

Nya wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention.

Why had she turned down Kai's request?

Was she that heartless and cruel?

She closed her eyes to try and block out all of the people in the one room. Her mind was swarming with thoughts.

Why did she push Kai away? Was he that unimportant to her? She felt awful. He was her brother; they were practically bound by blood.

Memories started to fill her head.

_Getting captured by the Skeletons._

_Becoming a Samurai._

_The others finding out she was a Samurai._

_Training Lloyd._

_The Final Battle._

_Zane sacrificing himself to save the others._

They had been through so much together.

But they started to drift away. She told him long ago, she could handle herself and then he kind of let go of her.

Nya realized.

She had drifted away from him.

It had been there right in front of her and she was too blind to even think that it would be her fault.

Kai always wanted to protect her little sister. She didn't even realize and blindly pushed him away thinking he would be fine without her.

Her crutches fell to the floor resulting in a loud clang. Everyone in the room stared at her. Slowly, Nya sank to her knees.

"I'm so sorry Kai," she whispered. "I'm so sorry…"

She got louder. "Kai, please forgive me! You are the best brother ever!"

Then she was screaming. "KAI! PLEASE! I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"

None of the people in the room had any idea what to do or say. They just stood there, mouth agape and eyes as wide as saucers.

Nya was still on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably and wishing she could have been a better sister.

"It's okay, Nya."

"N-No, it's not…"

"You're not alone."

"Yes I a-am…"

"But it doesn't matter 'cause your big brother is right here."

_What…?_

Two hands were placed on Nya's shoulders causing her to look up and almost faint.

It was Kai.

Kai her older brother who always protected her.

Kai her comforter when she cried or was sad.

Kai her best friend who forgave her when she made mistakes.

He was standing right behind her, hands on her shoulders and a warm smile on his scratched up face.

"Kai, what are you doing?" Nya asked, tears strewn across her face.

"I wasn't going to leave you," he smirked. Nya couldn't hold back a chuckle.

Her expression changed to a more serious face. "Listen, Kai, I'm sorry I pushed you away, yelled at you, turned away from you and-"

He cut her off. "I know… I heard you calling me, but don't cry please, 'cause them I'm gonna cry," Kai said, pulling Nya in to a hug.

Nya was speechless at that point. Cries were too much already and trying to talk on top of that just wasn't working out.

At that point, nothing else really mattered.

"Oh and yes," Kai spoke up again. "I do forgive you."

Nya still hadn't spoke up, but she nodded and buried her head in Kai's chest to embrace the warmth and comfort of her older sibling,

For a while they just sat there, ignoring every thing else and just crying and pouring out their feelings.

"I better head home. Can I see you afterward?" Kai asked looking down to see his younger sister.

"Sure…" she whispered, giving one last hug. She watched him disappear through the doors and smiled slightly.

He really was the best older brother ever.

"Uh…" The doctor had no idea what to say. He shook his head. "We are requiring you stay at the hospital for one more night to ensure your safety."

"C'mon Miss," a tall man led her down the hallway to another room. You will sleep here tonight. We will check on you tomorrow."

* * *

"How is your leg?"

"It's okay…" Nya lied, knowing if she said she was in excruciating pain, the doctors would want to do another operation and she had absolutely no energy for that.

"That's good. Here is your pain medication and some water."

Nya stuck the pill in her mouth and gulped down the water. It tasted bitter and sour. She must have made a face because the nurse asked if she was okay. She only nodded.

Suddenly, a man burst in to the room, forehead covered in sweat drops. He was holding a clipboard and wore a ratted coat.

"Excuse me, sir, but you cannot enter this room without authorization!" The assistant said frowning.

"I'm so deeply sorry, but it is an emergency. May I speak to you outside?" He was very impatient. Nya raised her eyebrows.

Nya could hear mumbling from outside but didn't suspect anything.

Finally, the nurse returned to the room, sorrow obviously filled in her eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Nya asked.

"Um…"

Now Nya was starting to suspect something.

"Your brother has passed away…"

* * *

**So… um… what did you think? You all probably now hate me for doing this… * ****runs from screaming mob of people * **

**Please tell me what you thought and if there are any typos. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. **

**Sorry, for the crazy updating schedule. I'll do what I can.**


	6. Author's Note

H-Hey guys? Didja miss me? *hears crickets chirping in the background* I know, I know, I am a TERRIBLE author and I know I haven't updated in like, a century and I am TRULY SORRY…

The thing is, I'm having a hard time continuing this fic only because I feel like it's going no where. I have ZERO inspiration for it and I have been trying to wait for it to hit me, but I'm not getting anything. Don't worry. I'm not ending the fic, I'm just going to end it soon and tie it up all pretty with bows (not my saying btw xD) so I can start other one shots.

I also have lots and Lots and LOTS of homework (as most of you probably do) so that isn't helping either, ugh.

Ooh, and season six is getting JUICY. If you haven't seen it, don't worry, I hate spoilers too so I won't say anything but I guarantee it will make you REAL sad...

Gosh, coming back after a FOUR month hiatus is quite strange. I feel awful for leaving you on such an intense cliffhanger and I hope to finish this story soon…

Also, I want to undergo a username change just because it's getting old. If you have any ideas, let me know with a review. Some example words I like are Ninjago (obviously), smol, tiny, dreams, etc, etc, ETC

Anyway, have a fabulous weekend and I will try to hopefully update ASAP.

Now, I have to write a short story, or else I will be breaking guidelines :)

…

"Okay, _where _is my chocolate cake? It was sitting on the top shelf of this fridge and now it's GONE.." The Ninja of Earth complained, rather loudly, sifting through the contents of the fridge. "It even had my NAME on it!"

Tiredly, Lloyd trudged into the room, trying to somehow straighten out his blonde bedhead. "Cooole... It's 6am and Sensei's not even making us to Sunrise Exercise… What's wrong?"

Cole sighed. "_Some_one decided to eat my SPECIAL chocolate cake that had my NAME on it!" Cole yelled causing the blonde to cringe at his volume.

"Does it matter? It's just ca-" Lloyd clasped his hands over his mouth. He did not just tell Cole it was "_just cake."_

The black ninja stared at his teammate in disbelief. "What do you mean it's _just _cake?! That cake meant EVERYTHING TO ME…" Cole tried to explain.

"Just calm down," Lloyd protested. "I think it was Jay, but don-"

The furious Ninja of Earth hastily shoved past Lloyd as soon as he heard a certain blue ninja's name. Of course it was him, who else would steal his cake?

Out of rage, he kicked the bedroom door open, not only waking up Jay but Kai and Zane as well.

Kai, was well, he was not a morning person, so to be greeted with such a loud noise made everyone knew he was going to be in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

Ignoring Kai and Zane, Cole stomped over to Jay's bed and ripped the covers right off. The Lightning Ninja shivered and looked back at Cole with eyes that screamed _What are you doing?!_

"Hand it over, Zap trap," Cole growled, holding his hand out in front of Jay.

Jay scoffed. "Hand over what, DIRT CLOD," he retaliated.

"Gimme my cake back!" Cole shrieked, complaining like a little kid whose mother wouldn't let them buy candy. "I know you took it, Lloyd told me!"

Jay glared at Lloyd in betrayal. "It was just one slice of cake!" He protested.

"One slice, ONE SLICE OF CAKE?!" Cole flailed his arms in the air to express his emotions. "That cake was so beautiful and you ATE it all."

Jay laughed. "I didn't eat all of it."

For a moment, Cole's expression softened.

"I threw whatever I couldn't eat away.

Cole felt like fainting. Quickly, he took a breath and tried to reason with his best friend. "You threw away my cake?!"

The scream echoed through the hallway.

"My. Cake?!" He shouted again. The scream flew all the way outside.

"MY CAKE…" The birds flew away. "And so you just THREW it away…"

Jay shrugged. "Basically. It wasn't that hard. Cake isn't the easiest to eat." He grinned wildly.

"BUT YOU THREW IT AWAY?!" Cole continued.

Jay nodded.

Finally Cole had enough. What was wrong with the world? What was wrong with JAY? A million thoughts swirled through his head, but before he could answer, he was already on the floor, fainted.

…

Yes, this snippet was based off a FRIENDS episode. I don't quite remember his name sadly… but I don't own it or Ninjago, just to be clear.

Anyway, enjoy your week and the next update should be up in about a week or two!


	7. Chapter Six

**I AM BACKKK… Yes, I know, I have been gone for like, five months and I feel awful, so I am going to try and finish this story ASAP. I have plenty of new ideas and I am just DYING to finish this :(**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ninjago or anything recognizable.**

* * *

"_You're brother has passed away…"_

Nya's hands went to her mouth and she felt like crying again. Except this time, nothing came out. No words, no sniffles or hiccups. She just sat there, hands to her face and eyes clenched shut.

_Please… This isn't happening…_

"Oh my gosh," she choked, struggling to comprehend what was previously said. It was not registering properly. The connection was cut off somehow.

"I'm so sorry," the man apologized, fiddling with his fingers.

"A-Are you sure he's dead?" she asked, trying _so _hard to believe he was not dead. She would go home that day and she would greet her brother with hugs and _happy _tears. He would not be dead. He was standing in front of her with that smirky smile and spiky brown hair. He would be able to hold Nya again.

"Um, yes," the man said awkwardly. "Officials found his body just outside of the urban part of Ninjago."

_So he was going back to Dad's old shop… _

"How did he die?" She quivered.

"He was attacked by what we think was about a hundred or so Nindroids. He was greatly outnumbered. There was nothing he or we could do."

"Oh my go…" She didn't finish. Still, no tears came out. She just breathed deeply, trying to tell herself it was a dream.

There came a knock on the white door and all the people in the room turned to see who it was. The Master of Lightning, Jay, entered softly.

"Excuse me, we are in the middle of something," the doctor said stiffly.

Jay glanced at him and said, "Can I just talk to Nya for a moment?"

Nya couldn't read Jay. Usually, the auburn haired boy was easily readable. If he was mad, he would sulk and cross his arms. If he was sad, he'd pout and whine and scowl. If he was happy, the dimples in his beautiful face would become noticeable to anyone in his vision.

This time, he was cold and emotionless. He wasn't angry, sad or happy. He was just there. He was Jay with all the color sucked out of him.

The doctor rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Fine, but make it quick."

The Ninja in blue nodded and made his way over to the black haired girl. "Hi Nya," Jay said, sitting down.

"Hey," she responded, refusing to look at this Jay.

"I uh, heard what happened to Kai," he whispered, reaching over and grabbing Nya's hand. "That idiot…"

"What are you talking about?" Nya snapped impulsively at Jay's unintended insult.

Jay was slightly taken aback my Nya's tone. "I told Kai I wanted to walk with him because of the Nindroid warnings spreading but he refused and just walked off."

Nya's expression softened.

"I feel like it was all my fault. If I had just insisted on going, he would not be…" Jay looked away, shaking just a bit.

This time, Nya reached over and grabbed Jay's other hand. "It was no one's fault. It was just an accident." She tiredly looked at the ninja in blue. A long bandage wrapped around his head. Several others on his arms and scars marred his figure. She sighed, but it came out shaky and uneven.

"Yeah but-"

"Jay. It's not your fault and…" she paused. "I have a headache."

The doctor seized the opportunity to swoop in with a bottle of pills. "Miss, you need more rest. Mr. Walker, if you will…"

Jay understood and got up, letting go of Nya's delicate hands. He could still feel their electricity running through his veins.

"If you need me, I'll heading back to base with Garmadon and Sensei. Talk to you later."

Nya nodded and squeezed her interlocked fingers.

_Please don't leave._

"Bye Jay."

_I don't want to be alone._

I'll be okay."

_I'm scared…_

"Please don't die too, Jay…" she whispered, once he was gone.

The doctor stood by, solemnly frowning in a way that screamed sympathy and impatience all at once. "Is there anything we can get for you?"

Despite her growing headache, she was itching to see one more person. "Can I see Cole?"

The look on the doctor's face thought otherwise, but he complied and sent one of his nurses to retrieve the Ninja of Earth. Moments later, the nurse returned with Cole, who looked in the same condition as Jay.

Cole though, wasn't emotionless. He looked almost fake. He tried to smile and laugh, but Nya could see his real self. Cole was vulnerable to his emotions. He looked so ready to break down and Nya felt so bad, she would have given him a great big bear hug if she could walk properly.

"I really hoped I wouldn't have to talk about Kai with you," Cole said, voice cracking at the Fire Ninja's name. He looked down at his rugged hands, which were resting stilly on his lap.

"I know," Nya responded.

"I thought the doctor kicked Jay out," he mumbled, carefully making sure the doctor wouldn't hear.

"He did, but I made him bring you in," Nya giggled, trying so hard to be optimistic.

The Master of Earth smiled just a bit, but it quickly faded back in to sadness. "Hearing about Kai was like being in the center of an exploding mine field…"

Nya nodded her head again. "I don't know what to say or even think anymore. With Lloyd hurt, Zane and now… Kai… dead, I just can't be normal…"

Cole wrapped an arm around her. "I don't even know we can even fight or function as a 'team'," Cole said, eyes almost black in thought.

"How can this even be a team?" Nya shook her head.

"It's not…" Cole's eyes started to glitter up with tears. "This so called team…"

If Cole weren't there, Nya would have curled up in a ball and screamed until her vocal cords burst. But, it felt nice to have him there, and Nya savored every moment of the feeling.

"Why do people like to kill?" Nya finally asked, staring blankly into space. "Why do people hate other people that they result in killing them?"

Cole was at loss for words. "I don't know…" He was crumbling. The once hard, down to the earth Ninja was eroding and falling apart. He tried to lift up his team. Without him, what could they do? Water needed a surface to run against. Lightning needed the ground to strike. Life needed earth in order to thrive.

Ice needed ground as well, to secure itself.

And fire needed the earth to channel its energy.

The sudden deaths of two core parts of Cole were roughly snatched from his grip and suddenly, he realized just how much he missed them.

How much it hurt him physically.

The Samurai locked her hazel eyes in his emerald and began to tremble in fear. It was just her, Cole, Jay and maybe Lloyd.

If Lloyd survived.

It was even a miracle that he survived this far.

Those Nindroids were just keeping them on their toes. They allowed them to let their guards down for _just _a bit, then they ungratefully stole something that completed them, leaving a hole in their heart. They could feel the absence and the coldness spreading through the hole in them.

After a couple minutes of silence, the doctor finally came over and said, "I hate to break this up, but Mr. Brookstone but Miss Nya needs her rest, so please come visit us tomorrow." It was more of a command rather and an offer.

Cole's lips pursed into a short frown and said, "Okay… I'll be going. Bye Nya… Feel better soon…"

_Don't leave, Cole._

"See you later…" Nya choked.

_I already lost Jay…_

"I miss you…"

_I can't take it anymore._

"I need someone," she whispered, just like when Jay disappeared.

"We will not be allowing anyone else in," the doctor stated, interrupting her train of thought. "You need to lie down, now…"

Tiredly, Nya complied. Her head hurt and it had been a very long day.

She crawled into the bed, careful not to put too much pressure on her leg. As she pulled up the covers, she felt her emotions start to creep up on her.

She was like a puppet to her emotions, the puppeteer. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to get them out of her head.

Suddenly, her head shot up. That was not her emotions.

A black figure clunked from the window to her room and Nya could feel her mouth being clasped over by a cold, metal hand.

"Nice to see you, little girl," it rasped.

Nindroid.

_Why did you have to leave me…?_

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER SIX… hope you enjoyed and tell me if I made any mistakes. I haven't written in a while, tbh.**

**Cole seemed a little harsh in my opinion, but it will all come together in the next chappie, hopefully… **

**Chapter seven is currently in the planning process and should be up soon! :) Have a great week!**


End file.
